DIY!
I was looking for a gentle toner for my oh-so-sensitive skin online. What I found was a lot of very overpriced green teas and rosewaters and lemons (ouch!). Save your money, use this recipe for the best gentle toner in the world. It’s so simple:
Ingredients:
1 part green tea (you can buy it literally anywhere)
1 part rosewater (usually at organic stores)
Directions:
1. Put equal parts in a bottle.
2. Shake.
ta-da.
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Apparently I work with someone that is forced to remove their pantyhose because they’ve peed themselves at their desk. What I didn’t take a picture of was the trash can next to this one, where her underwear was. At least have the decency to wrap them up in paper towels! I get being green and all, but I don’t need to see your pee-stained unders, ladies.
to the ladies of the customer service industry
dear bank customer service lady carol,
if my cats don’t eat i can only assume they will grow into tiny domesticated mutants and tear my face off with their razor sharp teeth and eat me alive. so i’m sure you can imagine my fear when, on whim, i wondered what my account balance was before buying them new stock, and to my dismay it was (horrifically) lower than i had previously imagined. thoughts of angry starving cats ran through my head. rage blackout ensued. i cannot take the blame for any of my (overre)actions whilst in this state. i can, however, recognize my faults and admit when i am wrong. i wronged you, customer service lady carol. you took it like a champ - and for that, i thank you. i understand that you were only trying to help me by putting me on hold and getting back on to say, “i’m very sorry but you’ll have to go to your local branch to get this fixed, ma’am”. i should not have replied “WELL, CAROL, THANKS FOR KEEPING ME ON HOLD TO TELL ME THAT”. when i asked you, “WHY ARE YOU BEING SO RUDE DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I’M SAYING?” and you oh so politely said, “yes, ma’am and i am very sorry i wish i could…” i should definitely not have interrupted with “WELL YOU HAVEN’T HELPED ME AT ALL SO THANKS A LOT FOR NOTHING” and then hung up on you.
dear bank customer service lady karen,
carol didn’t help me. so i thought maybe if i called back and spoke to a different customer service representative such as yourself i could get some answers. rage blackouts aren’t the prettiest shade on me so i’d like to formally apologize for telling you that you aren’t good at your job. it was rude of me to ask for your supervisor and then hang up while you went to get them.
soooo, guys…i took your advice. i went to my local branch and re-deposited my paycheck. i’ll never use the mobile deposit feature again because your bank will undoubtedly take my hard-earned money back and my cats will eat my face off while i’m sleeping because i won’t have the money to buy them food. my family will be forced to sue your bank for my wrongful and untimely death and you’ll both be out of jobs. i’m dead and you’re unemployed…bad scenario for all of us. i wouldn’t want to make your life worse than i already have…so, you’re welcome for saving your jobs. thanks for your help. good luck in not becoming mass murderers. xoxo
he reads my blog.
he read it. he took notice. he proposed.
moral of the story: if you write a blog post (here) about being a sad, aging cat lady who yearns for a ring (or in my case, ring pop), your boyfriend might read it and propose to you. mine did…he gave me a ring pop. then a real ring. and now i’m one of those girls i hated just a few short months ago.
try it. or just make him engagement chicken. either way, it’s bound to work.
you’re welcome.
reunited and it feels so good.
it’s been three long months without you, tumblr.
got an early christmas present today. so many christmas cookies will be baked.
$2 at the thrift store. worth: $80
entranced by janis joplin
The RaMEOWnes
these crayons have seen a lot of love but they’re never gonna see another love like they had with you
whilst shopping at target, i stumbled upon the adorable harajuku mini line for kids (+ 2 animal themed sweaters they should sell in adult sizes & hello kitty backpack that i so wish was socially acceptable for me to wear). it would be creepy & weird for me to buy them even though i don’t have children of my own, right?? or no? i mean, i just want my future children to be stylish. that’s not a crime.
kermit-ed the shit out of my nails. thanks OPI muppet collection
best friends
me and my cat(s) - i may or may not have more than one - have a lot of gripes. we talk about those gripes. a lot. we thought you might like to hear them. we also have a lot of random dance parties, but we won't subject you to that. you're welcome. things we will never gripe about: hello kitty. target stores. skinny girl margs. brownies. subway cookies. adult onesie pj's. friendship bracelets. needlepoints. feel free to send us any of the above.
contact justmeandmycatstumblr at gmail dot com
